Such a Bookworm - I rant about Twilight.

A long time ago, attending EFY for the first time in Boise, Idaho, I was roomed with some very girly sort of girls. They were very nice, of course, but we were so different that if we had all gone to the same high school, we wouldn't have been aware of each other's existence. As it was, we were roommates, and so we were obligated to get along.

It wasn't so bad, really - they really were very nice. I got to know them pretty well, actually. Well enough that one day, while we were waiting for our counselor, we began talking about books. I mentioned that I was looking for a good book to read (I go through a LOT of book-less periods, which drive me nuts). Hearing this, all of them instantly light up and start talking excitedly. "Oh, you should read Twilight! It's such an awesome book, you would love it!"

Intrigued, I asked, "What's it about?"

"It's about this girl who meets this vampire, and they fall in love, and - oh! It's just so cool! He goes to her school, and they...."

The rest of the description was rather vague, but my curiosity was, oddly enough, piqued.

I suppose I should mention that at this time, Twilight was JUST entering into its popularity, so I'd never heard of it before, and thus hadn't met anyone else who had liked it. So I didn't have much to go on, really - just my roommate's description of it. I was somewhat doubtful - but if THEY had liked it so much, I thought that it was probably worth a try.

A few weeks later, as we were perusing through our local bookstore, I happened to spot the paperback copy on the shelf. The cover looked cool - a pair of pale white hands holding a bright red apple on a plain black background. It was certainly a lot more original than most cover art I'd seen. This more or less cinched the deal for me, and I pulled my mom over and asked her to get it for me.

And thus, I was pulled into the world of Twilight.

Well, actually, I went there voluntarily. Which just KILLS me, because at least if someone had forced me to read it, I'd have a better excuse for hating it.

But no, I went and got it and read it completely of my own free will.

And, to tell the truth, the first few chapters weren't so bad. The writing was different than what I was accustomed to - most writers nowadays conform to a certain popular style. Stephenie Meyer doesn't, which is probably the only thing going for her. I liked how she described everything, and her writing was so magnetic that I couldn't stop reading even when I had realized what I'd gotten myself into and wanted to escape. The fact that I have read all of her books testifies to that. I just can't help it - every time I see a new Stephenie Meyer book on the shelf, I have to read it, if only to see if she's improved at all. She really does have potential in her writing.

But, as much potential as she DOES have, she doesn't have it YET. And that's where my hatred of Twilight comes in.

Now, first off: what sort of message does this book send to us, exactly? Love someone even if they're dangerous? Force them to turn you into a sexy monster because you want to be with him forever, even though you're only a teenager with the MATURITY of a teenager, and he is a 100-something-year- old man who has the physical appearance of a seventeen-year-old boy? Abandon your family, abandon your friends, go run off with your boyfriend. Yep, that sounds like the message we want teenage girls to absorb.

I mean, think about it. In this series, being a vampire is originally shown to be something of a punishment, something you would never, ever want to be. The only other thing I like about this series is the vampire part - like, the way she portrays them, explains how they work and live, what they're like (Although the sparkling diamond skin was a bit over the top). I like how she describes their beauty more as something dangerous than as something desirable (at least, she does when Edward and Bella aren't in the same room) - in other words, something meant to draw in prey. You get the sense, especially when the nomads come along, of just how monstrous these beings truly are. At the end of the book, unless you are exceptionally clueless, you're wondering why the heck Bella wants to be changed INTO one of them after being hunted down and attacked like that. I mean, I know she wants to stay with Edward, but if I was in her position, after an affair like that, I would be more determined than ever to STAY human as long as I possibly could. Being a vampire is clearly not a desirable situation, in spite of the fancy cars and beautiful marble skin. So WHY DO IT???

Well, in the next few books, vampirism seems to take a bit of an upturn, as we find out that Bella is probably going to be changed into a vampire anyway, what with the Volturi taking such an interest in her and evil vampire Victoria plotting her destruction. So now it's less a matter of 'will she?' and more a matter of 'WHEN will she?'

I guess, since Bella is heading in the vampire direction, Mrs. Meyer has to put a more positive spin on the whole thing. So now being a vamp suddenly isn't such a bad thing. I mean, you get a hot boyfriend/husband, perfect looks, superhuman strength, immortality - the list goes on. Mrs. Meyer doesn't exactly promote it, but she's not really warning against it either (apart from Edward's feeble attempts to talk Bella out of it).

That really just bugs me. It really does. Remember Rosalie's story of how she was turned into a vampire? Remember Jasper's? Carlisle's? Remember how they all turned?

AGAINST THEIR WILL.

Almost every single vampire was turned into what they are involuntarily. They had no say in it whatsoever. Especially Rosalie. Remember Rosalie? She had every right to be angry at Bella. She would have lived a reasonably happy life if it weren't for her evil fiancee. She never WANTED to become a vampire, for good reason. You're not human anymore. You can't be AROUND humans anymore. You don't eat. You don't sleep. You feed on blood. You have to watch your family grow old and die, decades and centuries pass, and never age along with it. I suppose there is solace in love, as all the vamps seem to find sooner or later, but still - what a torturous sort of existence. Who would WANT that?

Bella, that's who. Figuratively sticking her tongue out at these tortured souls, she skips along happily to have her neck bitten. Well, not exactly, as we find in Breaking Dawn. (Ironically, neck-biting would have preferable)

Man. I HATE this girl. Isabella Swan, fictitious though she may be, is the only girl I have ever really wanted to punch in the face.

But.....fate can't be changed, and everyone winds up living happily ever after. Seriously. There is practically nothing negative about this ending. Apart from the fact that Bella is going to outlive all her relatives, but no one really talks about that.

Don't get me wrong, I am ALL for happy endings. But when it comes to fictitious worlds like Twilight, I like a little bit of bittersweet realism. I'm not saying that it shouldn't have been good, I'm just saying that it shouldn't have been so darn PERFECT.

This is another thing that bugs me, about modern novels in general. You can pretty much predict that everything is going to end happily, because that's the fashionable thing nowadays. Whatever happened to endings like in Lord of the Rings? Frodo, Gandalf, Bilbo, Elrond (SPOILER) all sail away to the Undying Lands, leaving behind their friends and ending the Fellowship. Not bad, but very sad nonetheless. Where are these endings? What did the publishing companies do to them?

I don't know. I probably shouldn't whine about it like I do, but it's an old complaint that's been bugging me for years. I just had to get it out.

Just like this post, actually. I've been holding in that rant for almost FOUR YEARS.

And now it's finally out and over with. You can't fathom my relief - I felt like I was about to explode.

That said: Twilight sucks. End of story. Good evening.

I