So, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. Also, this is the first post I have written in a few months, but whatever. I am talking about other things.
Valentine's Day. I never really enjoyed it all that much. I can't really think of anyone who has who isn't in a relationship. When I think of this holiday, most of my memories consist of sickly-sweet fruit candies I'd get in my valentines box at school. Man, I hated those candies. Also, being something of an unapologetic tomboy, I found the copious amounts of pink and roses and hearts and general frilly, glittery things that seemed to be vomited up everywhere around this time of year pretty repulsive. And of course, the custom of handing out valentines to your classmates in elementary was never really all that big a deal - there wasn't any drama involved because everyone had to give everyone one else one valentine, and the only ones we really paid any attention to anyway were the ones that had candy attached to them. And then, I only ate the chocolates.
Within my family, we were never that much into the holiday. We weren't really into anything beyond the standard Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter, and even then in our own, quiet sort of way. We preferred celebrating things privately with our family to throwing big parties and strewing decorations everywhere. Which is exactly why we never gave Val's Day much thought. (Yes, I called it Val's Day. Because I am tired of writing the whole thing.) My dad would bring my mom flowers, they'd exchange some small gifts, and then they'd go out to dinner, and that was it. There was one particularly exciting Val's Day where someone (can't remember if it was Mom or Dad) brought home a chocolate, heart-shaped cake, which my parents allowed me and my little sister to eat while they went out to dinner. It was pretty much the most exciting Valentine's Day I'd ever had. And have had since, come to think of it.
Anyways, my point is, since then Valentine's Day has come to represent all that I find annoying about the stereotypical aspects of my gender. For girls in relationships, it's a Big Deal. For girls not in relationships, it is also a Big Deal, but in a very different way. Like, in the way of taking the opportunity to moan about how alone they are and how they will never find love and they might as well just go live in a cave and so on and so forth. (not to say that everyone who has this problem is like this. But you know what I mean.)
Okay, so I do recognize the struggle these girls (and guys) are having. I do understand how frustrating and sad it can be when everyone around you is getting chocolates. flowers. jewelry, romantic dinners and so on you aren't. It can make one feel very isolated and lonely. It can make you like there's something wrong with you because you aren't in a relationship. And the way some girls act certainly doesn't help - I remember in high school, some of the clubs would sell carnations on Valentine's Day, and the carnations (while a sweet gesture, don't get me wrong) were often viewed as sort of status symbols. Girls who got carnations obviously had boyfriends, or at least boys who were interested in them. And even beyond high school, this sort of thing is often held up as a kind of status symbol. I won't say that the girls who had carnations shoved it in everyone's face or anything, but it was definitely important. That's the thing in our society: unless you're in a relationship, you're not quite as interesting.
Half of what girls talk about (at least in high school) is guys. Heck, in most movies, any girl that appears is guaranteed to either acquire a love interest at some point in the movie (if they're the protagonist) or be the love interest to the protagonist (if they aren't) or at least to one of the supporting cast. I'm not saying the same doesn't go for guys, but....let's face it. Guys are valued more for their characters when it comes to movies, or books, or really any form of popular media. Girls aren't so much. It's just a fact. A girl is given a bit more flack for their appearance if, say, they're overweight, or have a big nose, or whatever. Put an "ugly" girl in a movie, and I can promise that they will have a makeover by the end that will make them stunning and the guy stares at her in rapture and yeah. Again, not saying guys don't have the same problem, buuuut....yeah, guys don't get a lot of makeover movies. The only movies I can think of that brings up this problem is Real Women Have Curves (duh) and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Obviously, these are just the movies I have seen, so if you have any others you can think of, throw them at me. I will gladly watch them.
Anyways, my point is, when you're single on Valentine's Day, you are morally obligated to be depressed. That just seems to be the messages that the grocery stores and TV shows seem to be throwing at me. And you know what? That's pretty darn stupid.
Here's a Personal Fact about me: I am 20 years old, and I have been on exactly 1 date. 1. And you know what? It doesn't bother me. I have never really felt 'attracted' to a guy, at least not one that wasn't fictional (I am such a nerd :3), and this rarely serves to make me feel bad. I mean, yeah, I have moments where I feel insecure and lonely, but who doesn't? The thing is, I have never really wanted to have a boyfriend. I never really saw it as a big deal. I'm not saying it isn't, I'm just saying you shouldn't feel like you're more important because you're in a relationship. You, girls AND guys, shouldn't hold yourself to that standard. Some people don't find a companion until much later in life. Some don't find one at all. It's not unnatural. While finding a companion is a precious and important thing, you shouldn't make yourself feel bad because you haven't found him/her yet. You are important because you are YOU, and while it is a good thing to find a companion, it isn't everything.
So, on this Valentine's Day, take advantage of the discount on chocolate if you are so inclined (as I am), but otherwise, remember that this is a silly holiday that means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things, and if you looked at its roots in history you would find that it actually isn't all that meaningful to begin with.
(Seriously, it isn't.)
(Look it up.)
So enjoy the cheap chocolate and go on with your day. Happy Valentine's!
Valentine's Day. I never really enjoyed it all that much. I can't really think of anyone who has who isn't in a relationship. When I think of this holiday, most of my memories consist of sickly-sweet fruit candies I'd get in my valentines box at school. Man, I hated those candies. Also, being something of an unapologetic tomboy, I found the copious amounts of pink and roses and hearts and general frilly, glittery things that seemed to be vomited up everywhere around this time of year pretty repulsive. And of course, the custom of handing out valentines to your classmates in elementary was never really all that big a deal - there wasn't any drama involved because everyone had to give everyone one else one valentine, and the only ones we really paid any attention to anyway were the ones that had candy attached to them. And then, I only ate the chocolates.
Within my family, we were never that much into the holiday. We weren't really into anything beyond the standard Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter, and even then in our own, quiet sort of way. We preferred celebrating things privately with our family to throwing big parties and strewing decorations everywhere. Which is exactly why we never gave Val's Day much thought. (Yes, I called it Val's Day. Because I am tired of writing the whole thing.) My dad would bring my mom flowers, they'd exchange some small gifts, and then they'd go out to dinner, and that was it. There was one particularly exciting Val's Day where someone (can't remember if it was Mom or Dad) brought home a chocolate, heart-shaped cake, which my parents allowed me and my little sister to eat while they went out to dinner. It was pretty much the most exciting Valentine's Day I'd ever had. And have had since, come to think of it.
Anyways, my point is, since then Valentine's Day has come to represent all that I find annoying about the stereotypical aspects of my gender. For girls in relationships, it's a Big Deal. For girls not in relationships, it is also a Big Deal, but in a very different way. Like, in the way of taking the opportunity to moan about how alone they are and how they will never find love and they might as well just go live in a cave and so on and so forth. (not to say that everyone who has this problem is like this. But you know what I mean.)
Okay, so I do recognize the struggle these girls (and guys) are having. I do understand how frustrating and sad it can be when everyone around you is getting chocolates. flowers. jewelry, romantic dinners and so on you aren't. It can make one feel very isolated and lonely. It can make you like there's something wrong with you because you aren't in a relationship. And the way some girls act certainly doesn't help - I remember in high school, some of the clubs would sell carnations on Valentine's Day, and the carnations (while a sweet gesture, don't get me wrong) were often viewed as sort of status symbols. Girls who got carnations obviously had boyfriends, or at least boys who were interested in them. And even beyond high school, this sort of thing is often held up as a kind of status symbol. I won't say that the girls who had carnations shoved it in everyone's face or anything, but it was definitely important. That's the thing in our society: unless you're in a relationship, you're not quite as interesting.
Half of what girls talk about (at least in high school) is guys. Heck, in most movies, any girl that appears is guaranteed to either acquire a love interest at some point in the movie (if they're the protagonist) or be the love interest to the protagonist (if they aren't) or at least to one of the supporting cast. I'm not saying the same doesn't go for guys, but....let's face it. Guys are valued more for their characters when it comes to movies, or books, or really any form of popular media. Girls aren't so much. It's just a fact. A girl is given a bit more flack for their appearance if, say, they're overweight, or have a big nose, or whatever. Put an "ugly" girl in a movie, and I can promise that they will have a makeover by the end that will make them stunning and the guy stares at her in rapture and yeah. Again, not saying guys don't have the same problem, buuuut....yeah, guys don't get a lot of makeover movies. The only movies I can think of that brings up this problem is Real Women Have Curves (duh) and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Obviously, these are just the movies I have seen, so if you have any others you can think of, throw them at me. I will gladly watch them.
Anyways, my point is, when you're single on Valentine's Day, you are morally obligated to be depressed. That just seems to be the messages that the grocery stores and TV shows seem to be throwing at me. And you know what? That's pretty darn stupid.
Here's a Personal Fact about me: I am 20 years old, and I have been on exactly 1 date. 1. And you know what? It doesn't bother me. I have never really felt 'attracted' to a guy, at least not one that wasn't fictional (I am such a nerd :3), and this rarely serves to make me feel bad. I mean, yeah, I have moments where I feel insecure and lonely, but who doesn't? The thing is, I have never really wanted to have a boyfriend. I never really saw it as a big deal. I'm not saying it isn't, I'm just saying you shouldn't feel like you're more important because you're in a relationship. You, girls AND guys, shouldn't hold yourself to that standard. Some people don't find a companion until much later in life. Some don't find one at all. It's not unnatural. While finding a companion is a precious and important thing, you shouldn't make yourself feel bad because you haven't found him/her yet. You are important because you are YOU, and while it is a good thing to find a companion, it isn't everything.
So, on this Valentine's Day, take advantage of the discount on chocolate if you are so inclined (as I am), but otherwise, remember that this is a silly holiday that means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things, and if you looked at its roots in history you would find that it actually isn't all that meaningful to begin with.
(Seriously, it isn't.)
(Look it up.)
So enjoy the cheap chocolate and go on with your day. Happy Valentine's!
